By fly freak yoga our site, you agree to our cookie policy. This article was co-authored by our trained team of editors and researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness. Together, they cited information from 20 references.
How’s Content Management Team carefully monitors the work from our editorial staff to ensure that each article meets our high standards. How marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. It also received 16 testimonials from readers, earning it our reader-approved status. Being around a control freak is never easy or pleasant, whether you’re dealing with a bossy best friend, a micromanaging boss, or an older sister who wants everything done her way. However, there are some times when you can’t just escape the person and need to learn how to cope with his or her behavior so you don’t end up pulling all of your hair out. Understand what makes a person be a control freak. People afflicted with this tendency have a need to control outcomes and often other people.
They feel out of control and seek to control someone else. They are terrified of failure, particularly their own and of being unable to fathom the consequences when things go wrong. They can also feel that they deserve things that other people might not deserve, and feel that they do not need to spend time with or show respect for others. See if the controlling person needs professional help. Sometimes, a person is just a control freak, but there are times when the need for control goes beyond being an annoying personality trait. Additionally, you may not always be in the position to suggest professional help to the bossy person.
If the person, for example, is a boss or an older adult in your family, you may not be in the best position to suggest such a thing. Understand how a controlling person affects others. Bossy or controlling people sound like a perennially uncompromising parent. They might use terms such as «Do it now! I am the boss, do what I say», or «Get on with it! Be aware that even «nice» people can be bossy or controlling.
They may present themselves as the voice of reason, letting you know that you are extremely unreasonable. Realize that your value is not derived from this person. You should always see yourself as an equal of the controlling person, even if his or her behavior suggests otherwise. This is crucial for your well-being. The control freak, especially if he or she is a family member, can really change your self-esteem for the worse. This will not be easy if you’re not used to doing it but it’s a skill you can practice and your bossy person is as good a practice target as any.
For example, if you felt your boss was always telling you what to do without acknowledging your skills, you might say something like: «I have worked in this capacity for five years and I am good at this job. It’s important to behave calmly and patiently with a control freak, even if you feel like screaming on the inside. It can also be helpful to give the person a wide berth when it’s clear that they are tired, stressed out or unwell. If you start to get aggravated, the bossy person’s behavior will only become more intense. Getting upset or angry will also make the bossy person view you as weak and even more easy to control.
You don’t want to give off this impression, or it will make you even more of a target. Avoid the person as much as you can. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is just to avoid the behavior. Though talking to the person about the behavior and how it’s making you feel can help the person understand his behavior and to move towards a plan that will help you work together and get along more easily, sometimes you may feel that the only thing you have left to do is to remove yourself from the situation.
If a personal relationship becomes abusive as a result of the person’s controlling behavior, then you should get out and leave. Tell this person you need a break from him or her for now and move on in your life. People who resort to using violence or abusive tactics will not get better until they seek long term therapy. If you’re a teen, try to be agreeable and keep very busy all the time.
You can stay away and get out of the house by doing sports or studying and getting really good grades. Tell them you would love to hang out or talk but you are busy with studying, playing, volunteering, etc. Then go out and find really nice people who make you feel good about yourself. Set high but realistic goals and achieve them just for you.